


Silver Birch

by yourpricelessadvice (orphan_account)



Series: Lovehearts [2]
Category: One Direction
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Genderswap, Girl Direction, Harry's POV, House Party, Lesbian Character, Mild Smut, Rare Pairings, True Love, Uni AU - sorta, untagged side ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-17
Updated: 2018-05-17
Packaged: 2019-05-01 08:56:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14516919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/yourpricelessadvice
Summary: Harry has made her university firm choice. She’s been accepted to Manchester; all that she needs now are her A-Level results. Well, that and a bloody big celebratory knees up.





	Silver Birch

**Author's Note:**

> I adore this verse and I can’t leave it alone – sorry!
> 
> The title is from Country Mile by Camera Obscura, which I reference at the beginning and end too. Birch represents new beginnings, growth and protection, which fits our girls perfectly!
> 
> I write all over the place and ‘edit’ my work myself, so if there are glaring errors I do apologise. I’d love to hear from anyone who wants to leave a comment at the end!
> 
> (technically, with a September birthday Niall would be in a different school year to the others but for the sake of this story that rule doesn’t exist)

_ “We're all inside our own heads now, we are leaving new friends, leaving this town and I wish you could be here with me, I would show you off like a trophy. The road it winds, it twists, it turns, oh my stomach burns.” _

**Country Mile, Camera Obscura**

  
  


 

Harry has been awake since before six and her Marmite on toast has gone cold where she’s left it on the side, too apprehensive to eat.

It’s quarter past eight, the morning of results day. The day her thirteen years of education have been leading to. Breakfast has featured high on all the forums and guides she’s read; make sure you have breakfast - it’s going to be an emotional, tiring day. But she just can’t. After almost half an hour of refreshing the page and logging out and back in again just in case it makes a difference, she finally sees it. 

She’s been accepted to Manchester, her firm choice. She shrieks with delight, the tears immediately filling her eyes and her mum comes bursting into the room in an instant; just as if she was waiting outside the door with bated breath. 

“I’m in, I’ve done it, I’ve got my place!” Harry howls into her mum’s arms, the force of their two bodies crashing together almost winding her but she can’t bring herself to care. She can’t bring herself to think about much else than this. She’s going to plummet once the news sinks in, she’s sure, so for now she just wants to enjoy the euphoric happiness. 

Anne bursts into Harry’s brother’s room to tell him, but he just grunts and throws a pillow. Within a moment she’s on the phone, passing the good news on to Harry’s grandparents and then to her Auntie Carol. Harry calls her dad to tell him and then she sends out, with trembling fingers, a message to the group chat and then one just to Louis. 

She doesn’t expect a response from Louis immediately, figures she’ll be having a lie-in, but within the minute Louis’ name is lighting up her phone screen. Harry answers it giddily and Louis sleepily and softly congratulates her, stating that she is not surprised in the slightest.

Harry retains a modicum of modesty and gushes how she can’t believe it, because she really can’t. All this time, since finally coming around to the idea of flying the nest and starting a new chapter (of the same book, Louis reassured her) she’s always had that niggling doubt in the back of her head that at any second she’s going to wake up back at the start of sixth form and find that everything was just a dream. A dream, or a nightmare.

Louis talks her down from the crashing realisation that comes soon after that yes, she’s done it and all her hard work has paid off. Harry is already exhausted and it’s only just before nine. They’ll be seeing each other at school in an hour to get their exam results, but they stay on the phone anyway. Louis puts her on loudspeaker and they don’t say much for long periods of time as Harry flitters electrically around her bedroom and Louis starts to slowly get ready. 

Harry sits in a daze on the edge of her bed once she hangs up with Louis. The sound of her mums voice makes her snap back to reality and she realises she’s been sitting staring into space for the past God knows how many minutes.

“Harry, love?”

“Sorry,” She blinks heavily. “What did you say?”

“It’s time to go, love.”

 

♀♀

 

Harry’s stomach won’t settle. She’s been electric with nerves all morning but now she’s sure she’s about to vibrate right out of her skin. The A to M group, namely Niall and Zayn, are inside currently getting their results, but Harry and Liam and Louis are all part of the N to Z group and have ten more excruciating minutes to wait until they can go in.

Louis is by Harry’s side, looking considerably calmer. Harry sneaks a look at her girlfriend; she’s squinting in the sun and tucking her hair behind her ear as she glances around at all of the people milling around the netball pitch waiting to file into the hall for their results.

“What?” Louis asks with a quizzical smile as she turns her attention back to Harry. “You okay? You look like you’re gonna chuck.”

Harry makes a noise, unable to find the words.

“You’re gonna be okay, babe, you’ve already got your unconditional offer from uni. Whatever happens when you get your envelope is just background noise. You’re in.”

Harry nods; she knows she should be reassured by what Louis’ saying but she’s just not. She knows that Louis’ right, it doesn’t really matter because her grades were obviously good enough for university, but it’s the not knowing that really hurts.

“Wonder if they’ve got ‘em yet?” Liam spectates, watching the main hall doors like a hawk. 

Harry pulls out her phone and checks the time; they’ve got six minutes until their allocated time, so she hopes they’ve bloody got them. She couldn’t bear a delay right now.

Louis and Liam seem to be having no problem making conversation, chatting and laughing away but Harry stands just on the periphery, nausea still encasing her as she waits. She can barely hear what they’re saying anymore, her blood is pumping too noisily through her veins.

She almost jumps out of her skin when she feels two firm hands clamp down on her shoulders and a small, lithe body come crashing into her at a rate of knots a few minutes later. 

“Two A’s and two B’s, fucking get in! Plymouth here I come!” 

It’s Niall, followed closely by Zayn, leaping around between the three of them shouting and grinning. She snatches a second piece of paper from Zayn’s hand and shoves it in Louis’ face.

“I did it, I fucking did it, Tommo!” She exclaims, dragging Liam into a three-way hug.

“That’s ace, Nialler, wicked!” Louis enthuses. “What about you, Zaynie?”

“Two B’s, A-star’s in art and graphic design!” Zayn says modestly with a smile that gives away just how happy she is. They all exchange hugs; Harry is over the moon for her friends, she really is. They’ve smashed it! They’re all going to uni in September. 

Well…

She can’t help but catch Louis’ eye in all the merriment; she’s got a smile on her face but it doesn’t quite reach her blue eyes. Louis’ cheeks tinge pink when she realises she’s being watched, and her smile fades slightly as she looks away from Harry awkwardly. She seems almost robotic as she gushes out textbook congratulatory words to the other girls.

“Come on,” Liam says suddenly says, drawing Harry’s attention right in. “We’re up.”

Harry looks over to where the double doors to the school hall have just swung open. The rest of the school is deserted, it’s mid-August, but the noise of the thick blanket of A-Level result receivers as they all file into the hall in a mad rush is almost deafening. 

Zayn and Niall wish them luck and move across the netball pitch to find somewhere to wait. Liam leads the way through the crowds and Louis and Harry follow. Louis grips Harry’s hand as they trail behind Liam until they have to break off into three to collect their results.

Harry makes a noise high in her throat and Louis squeezes her hand before they separate. Harry moves to stand in the ‘S’ queue. It’s simply a desk from one of the classrooms with an ‘S’ printed onto a piece of A3 paper taped on the wall behind it. It’s a lot less grand than Harry was expecting and it’s almost disappointing. There are about ten people ahead of her already, and by the time she gets to the front and shakily gives her name, she’s just about ready to pass out.

“Ha-Harriet Styles?” She chokes out, ending up sounding like she’s asking rather than telling. Her cheeks burn as she’s asked to repeat it, and she tries again, clearer this time.

The woman flicks slowly through the remaining envelopes and eventually selects Harry’s. She hands it over; thick and crisp manila with her name on the front, the school stamp in the top corner and ‘Do Not Bend’ in ominous red letters along the bottom. She whispers a thank you and is guided away in a daze. She clutches tightly to her envelope, unable to focus as she scans the crowd blindly for Louis or Liam. 

Louis should be nearby, S and T are next to each other in the alphabet but for some unfathomable reason, the T stand is on the other side of the hall to S. Harry sees plenty of familiar faces; Ed and his music mates, Perrie and her friends, people from tutor group and people that have forever been just on the edge of her awareness.

Then, finally, like spotting an oasis in the desert, Harry finds Louis in a break in the crowd. Smaller than almost everyone else around her, fiddling with the hair that’s longer than she’s ever had it before, Louis is clutching her own manila envelope.

It’s open at the top, ripped quite unceremoniously. 

“Have you looked yet? I’ve opened it but haven’t looked.” Louis brandishes her envelope. They stare at each other for a beat, Harry unable to move. “Harry, have you looked yet?”

Regrettably she shakes her head. “Can’t.” She whispers.

“Come on, outside!” Louis demands, grabbing Harry’s wrist and pulling her along behind her, through the crowds of people towards the safe haven of outside.

“What about Liam?” Harry asks weakly once they’re outside.

“She’s with Ed, she’ll come and find us in a minute,” Louis says. “Come on, stop stalling and do it.”

“You go first,” Harry pleads, though Louis is having none of it. “Urgh, fine!”

Harry’s hands tremble as she tries to rip apart the tacky seal. It takes her several tries but she finally gets it. She holds the papers in her hands, flicking through them and trying to make sense of all the sub-sections and headings. Finally, at the bottom of the page are the final grades.

She just can’t help it, the relief gushes out of her in the form of ecstatic tears. She clutches the paper, crinkling the edges where she grips them so tightly. She blinks away her tears, looking back to check she hadn’t mis-read anything.

“How did you do? Harry, come on, tell me!”

Harry clutches the envelope and papers, unable to quite believe it. 

“B in biology, A-stars in the rest,” Harry confesses timidly, her emotions intensifying as Louis’ eyes bug wide open and she shrieks in delight, wrapping Harry up into a huge hug. 

“I’m so proud of you, baby,” Louis says, right by her ear. “I knew you’d smash it. I’m so proud.”

Harry holds onto Louis tightly, their bodies swaying back and forth in the middle of the crowd, though it feels like there’s no one else here but the two of them.

“I love you,” Harry murmurs into the curvature of Louis’ shoulder. “I love you, Lou-Lou.”

“I love you too, babe.” Louis murmurs reassuringly in her ear. “Love you for always.”

They break apart, Louis taking Harry’s papers and reading through them herself. “That’s amazing, Harry, honestly you’ve done so well. I knew you would.”

“How did you do?”

Louis pulls a face; she hasn’t looked yet. With trepidation she turns the envelope on its end. “Here goes nothing!” She takes a deep breath as she pulls them out. She frowns heavily as she reads through them, shuffling through the pages. 

Harry’s heart is in her mouth and beating hard. “Well?”

“Three C’s and a B in media studies,” Louis reports, looking up from the pages with shimmery eyes. Harry can already tell she’s disappointed, though she won’t show it. “Well, that’s not so bad I guess. Surprised about media studies, thought for sure I’d fucked that one up.”

“Well done, babe, I’m proud of you too.” Harry says, and they have another hug. Louis steps away afterwards, reaching down for her handbag that she’d dropped to the ground earlier. She puts her results away, smiling reassuringly but Harry knows better.

Liam and Ed turn up then, and Zayn and Niall re-appear so Harry doesn’t get a chance to speak to Louis any further. Liam has done well too, three B’s and a C. She’s confirmed for the University of Exeter to study sports science in September, Zayn for Newcastle’s prestigious art course and Niall is headed down south to Plymouth to study environmental science and travel and tourism.

They’re going their separate ways now, just for the afternoon for now, and then meeting back up at Niall’s later. Her parents are off on another one of their joyously conveniently-timed long weekends away, and Harry’s not sure if they really have no idea about Niall’s plans for illicit carnage or whether they’re just past the point of caring.

The five of them (plus Ed) split off in different directions. Harry walks home with Louis, Jay waiting eagerly by the front door as they dawdle up the street. Jay whoops with delight for both of them and picks Harry up in a big hug.

Harry lingers for a while, dragging her departure out as long as possible. Louis’ sort-of stepdad Mark is on his way round, as are her grandparents and auntie, and while Harry would love to see them of course, she’s got mascara tracks down her face and she’s all blotchy.

“Okay, so I’ll meet you here to go to Ni’s later?”

“Yep,” Louis nods affirmatively. “See you later on, babe. Text me, okay? Save me from this snooze-fest!”

They share a quick kiss and then Harry heads off home, taking a slow walk down Louis’ street, across the main road and then over the playing field towards home. The sun is beating down high overhead, a white hot blurry fireball in an otherwise clear blue sky. 

It’s only quarter to eleven, not even the peak of the day yet but it’s already sweltering. Harry piles her hair into a scruffy top knot and keeps on walking, the grass tickling her toes through her sandals. By the time she steps off the grass she’s sneezed five times and her cami top is sticking rather unpleasantly to her lower back.

Like Jay, Harry’s mum is waiting with bated breath in the middle of the living room as soon as she steps in the door.

“What took you so long?” Anne explodes desperately. “Come on, I’m  _ dying _ here, I need to know!”

Harry smiles weakly, holding out the envelope. Anne takes it keenly and studies it closely, her face breaking into a steady grin very quickly.

“B in Biology, photography, textiles and English all A-stars!” She exclaims. “Oh Harry love, that’s excellent darling! Oh, I’m so proud! I knew you would do it! Look!”

Harry’s brother comes wandering past at that moment, peering up at the hubbub disinterestedly.

“Well done, Hazhead.” He says, ever the enthusiast, as he passes by with quick thumbs up to Harry.

Anne makes ham and cheese rolls for lunch and balances a bag of prawn cocktail crisps on top of Harry's, and for a moment it feels like any other day, but when she’s finished eating, with misty eyes Anne comes in from the conservatory holding a card in a lilac envelope.

Inside is a long message in her mum’s handwriting that she reads once but can’t quite take in; she’s suddenly very short of breath and her throat hurts. Along with the card are ten crisp twenty pound notes.

“Mum!” Harry cries, closing the money back inside the card and jumping out of her seat. She throws herself at her mum, feeling infinitely more secure once she’s in her mum’s arms. 

“It’s from dad as well,” Anne says into her hair. “We’re very proud of you, Harry. You’ve got such an amazing few years coming up, this is just a little something to help you on your way - and to say well done for such great marks.”

There’s a steady stream of people through the door all day; her dad, both sets of grandparents, auntie Carol and Cathy from next door. Between texting Louis, replying to Facebook status comments and making social interactions with actual real life humans, Harry suddenly finds herself with only an hour to get ready before she has to leave to meet Louis.

It’s later but no cooler out by the time Harry gets to Louis’ at half past seven that evening. The excitement of the day has left her exhausted and wishing she’d had a nap earlier on. She’s ready for bed, not spending the evening drinking with her best friends.

But, as Louis has repeatedly told her, it’s tradition and they’ve got something to celebrate so she can’t back out.

“Hiya!” Louis greets her at the door. Her hair is twisted into French plaits down each side, her blonde highlights weaving in and out of the braids. She’s bare faced with her lashes coated long and dark, and she’s in black high waisted jeans with a bright blue cami tucked into her jeans. Her skin is peachy gold from the sun over the high points of her shoulders, the bridge of her nose and her forearms.

Harry herself has her hair half-up half-down and has chosen leggings and a pretty top. She feels underdressed next to Louis as she steps inside. Harry says hello to all of Louis’ brothers even though only the older two actually do more than grunt at her. Jay tuts at them and pulls Harry in for a hug.

“You two have a wonderful time tonight,” Jay says as they head back out of the door, glass bottles clunking in the carrier bag Louis is clutching. “Don’t get too drunk!”

“We won’t!” Louis sing-songs sweetly, flashing her mum a killer smile. Harry just keeps her head bowed, unwilling to commit to such empty promises. “Bye mum!”

“Remember, dad is coming to pick you up at midnight, don’t keep him waiting, and don’t keep Anne up!”

“Yeah, yeah, I know!” Louis says dismissively. “Bye mum, love you lots.”

“Bye girls, love you both!”

 

♀♀

 

Harry is overheating and sweaty with nerves by the time they get to Niall’s house. Zayn is already there when they arrive and Liam turns up shortly after them. The patio doors are open and they spill out into Niall’s back garden. 

Harry finds a garden chair and perches on it as Louis adds her bottles of booze to the ones Niall already has arranged. Zayn sits opposite Harry squinting at Niall’s laptop, changing the song that’s playing to Calvin Harris. Harry looks up when she hears Niall gasp loudly.

“Hang on, wait a minute, Liam- what’s- oh my God!”

“What?” Liam asks again, her round brown eyes panicking as she reaches up to fiddle with her hair self-consciously.

“You’ve had your Ed surgically removed!” Niall gasps in mock aghast. “Oh my God, did it hurt?”

Liam’s frowns and rolls her eyes upwards. “Oh shut up Ni, you’re not even funny!”

Louis laughs, as does Niall of course, and Harry smiles discreetly as Zayn sighs with a smile and moves the laptop out of harm’s way.

“Come on then girls, let’s get bloody rat arsed!”

 

♀♀

 

The Tesco value vodka and the Tesco own brand Red Bull don’t hit Harry immediately, but when they do hit they hit her hard. Louis too is completely gone; pink cheeked and bleary eyed. Niall isn’t much better, though Zayn seems stoically sober which is impossible considering the half-empty bottle of Apple Sourz she’s closely guarding.

Liam, now that she’s  _ finally _ put her phone down, seems to be having a right whale of a time too. Somebody comes up with the idea of mixing all the ready-made cans of cocktail together and nobody can see anything wrong with that idea so that’s what they do.

Louis’ mixer goes to Liam, Niall’s to Louis, Liam’s to Harry, Zayn’s to Niall and Harry’s to Zayn. The Caribbean twist and piña colada mix that Liam creates for her is actually very nice, but the look on Louis’ face as she downs the strawberry daiquiri and mojito mix that Niall had created for her tells Harry that hers is not.

Niall makes it a rule that Liam has to scream woo before she downs the mixer Louis made her, as it contains Woo Woo and Cosmo. 

“Woo!” Liam yelps half-heartedly as she empties her plastic cup, and Niall immediately jumps to her feet.

“Oh come on, that wasn’t good enough!” She exclaims as she cracks open two more cans and sloshes them into Liam’s cup in unison. “Once more with feeling please, Payno.”

Liam laughs, knowing she doesn’t have a choice as Niall thrusts the cup at her and gets Louis and Zayn to start chanting. Liam downs the fruity concoction in one gulp and then yells at the top of her voice, “Fucking woo! Woo!”

 

♀♀

 

Ultimately though, it’s still sensible Liam who encourages them at quarter past eleven to start reining it in a bit. They move back inside; Niall cranks up the heating but leaves the patio doors wide open.

Someone turns the telly on and puts the music channels on, and Niall appears from the kitchen with cocktail sausages, Doritos and salsa dip.

“Bon appétit!” She declares as she drops the goods onto the coffee table with a thud. 

None of them can pass up the opportunity to make a good sausage-related pun, although when Harry looks across at Louis she’s keeping herself more subdued than she perhaps might once have, and Harry can’t help but notice it. She knows Louis still feels awkward about how things transpired with Liam and Ed, though the rest of them are all well over it now. 

They begin a sing-along, belting out Spice Girls and Rihanna and at the tops of their voices; still being silly and having the time of their lives even though they switched to Fanta and cherryade a while ago. 

Niall changes the channel during an advert break and I’ve Had The Time of my Life from Dirty Dancing is just starting on Magic; it’s all so fitting and poignant they all get a bit watery-eyed as they warble along, Louis ceremoniously dedicating her performance to them all as she sings, “I’ve had, the time of my life, and I owe it all to you!”

They must snap about two hundred photos between them if they snap one; memories encapsulated in pixels forever more. Louis’ sort of step-dad Mark picks them up just before twelve and Louis does her best to be as distracting as possible while Harry is giving instructions on how to get to her house while trying her best to hide how tipsy she is. 

Despite the fact that she’s just narrated the entire journey to Mark, the drive seems to pass by in a flash and before Harry knows it they’re pulling up outside a familiar looking driveway. Oh right, her house. Of course.

“Thanks dad,” Louis leans across the centre console to hug Mark. “See you soon.”

“Bye princess,” Mark smiles, shuffling around in his seat to smile politely at Harry. “Bye Harry, nice to see you again.”

They tumble out of the car, all loose limbs and snorting giggles. Louis clutches onto her arm as they stagger up the driveway towards the front door. The door key that Harry has had hidden in her bra all night finally comes into use.

“Shh!” Harry hisses, pressing her finger to her lips with a loud giggle as she shoulders the front door open, sending Louis sprawling, not realising Louis had been using the door as a leaning post. 

They giggle as quietly as they can as Harry steps over Louis and hauls her to her feet. Harry closes the door quietly behind them, locks it and puts the chain across. 

She turns round to find Louis sitting on the bottom step attempting to undo the buckles on her sandals. She’s concentrating very hard, her bottom lip pouting and her plaits severely frayed from the evening’s frivolities.

“All right there, Lou?” Harry says, forgetting to whisper.

Louis looks up, pain evident in her eyes. Dutifully she looks back down and instead of carrying on trying her buckles, she just tugs on the backs of her shoes and pulls them clean off.

“That’s better!” She harrumphs cutely, springing to her bare feet with a slight wobble.

“C’mon,” Harry whispers, stepping onto the first step and taking Louis’ hand.

 

♀♀

 

They both have very delicate heads the next morning. Harry wakes up first and for a few minutes she just lays there. She can’t believe yesterday happened; in fact, for the first few moments she forgets that results day has now already been and gone.

With the flip of her heart in her chest she rolls over onto her side, letting her shoulders slip beneath the duvet cover once more, and she gently presses her palm to Louis’ arm. Louis doesn't respond to the first touch, but Harry tries again, more insistent this time, and finally Louis begins to stir.

She groans loudly before she’s even opened her eyes. “Stop it, make it stop!” She wails, bringing her hands up to hide her face in. “You can only wake me up if you’re beautiful.”

Harry blushes but she doesn’t react to that comment otherwise. Louis eventually brightens up and even eventually pulls herself to a sitting position. Harry goes down to get them cups of tea and say good morning to her mum, and when she returns Louis has taken her hair out of her distressed plaits and her hair rivals Harry’s own in volume. 

They lie around for most of the rest of the morning and into the early afternoon, feeling lazy and lethargic and not like doing anything. They’re roused from their horizontal states with food at three o’clock, and that means facing her mum for the first proper time.

Anne laughs at them as they traipse into the dining room sadly. “You girls look decidedly worse for wear!”

“Niall’s a bad influence.” Harry says simply.

“I’d hate to think what state that house will be in today. She’d better hope her parents don’t come home early!” Anne chortles. “They’re very trusting, leaving a seventeen year old in charge all weekend!”

“Wouldn’t you trust me if it was me?” Harry asks.

“I’d trust you,” Anne says, picking up her mug. “I just wouldn’t trust Niall!”

 

♀♀

 

After the overwhelming build up to and the wild ride that was results day, Harry’s life feels strangely empty now there’s nothing looming. Nothing immediate, anyway.

Just before the end of the month is Liam’s birthday and the five of them plus Ed and his mate Elliot go out for all you can eat Chinese and share several bottles of wine between them, even illicit young Niall who still has just less than three weeks to go until her own birthday.

As August rolls into September there’s an undeniable shift in the mood but they do their best to ignore it. They’ve only got a little over a week left together; Harry doesn't want to ruin a single second of it. They’ve agreed that they’ll see each other for at least a little part of each day for the next nine days until Harry leaves; after all, they’ll be a long time without each other after the ninth. 

Louis is working until two; it’s good for her to get more shifts at Poppy’s but since they finished their exams in June and they’ve had more free time, not having Louis at her disposal isn’t how Harry expected their last few days together.

Harry hates how gloomy and dismal that sounds. She hates that the sun is shining and the birds sing outside the open window, because it doesn’t reflect her mood at all.

She’s ten minutes early to meet Louis from work in her haste not to miss a single minute. She stands on the street opposite Poppy’s for a beat, training her eyes to see through the reflections distorted in the glass, to Louis. She spots her finally, standing over a table in the corner with her writing pad in her hand. 

Harry steps off the kerb and pushes the door open, air conditioning and the sweet smell of cakes hitting her. Harry doesn't recognise the lady behind the counter but she greets her warmly all the same.

“Hiya, welcome to Poppy’s, what can I get for you today?”

Harry’s eye travels over to where Louis is but Louis doesn't spot her. So, she shifts her full attention onto making a request. Something sugary and calorific will likely improve her mood.

“Hi, um… can I get a raspberry slice please?” Harry finally decides. Her eyes slip away from the pretty looking wedge of cake to the row of sugared shortbread with a jam heart centre. “And one of those too, please.”

Harry watches patiently as the lady tackles a jammy biscuit with her metal tongs, taking obvious care not to drop or damage anything. She must be new, Harry figures.

“Excuse me miss, but those aren’t for sale. Can you leave the premises right now please else I’ll be forced to call the police!”

Harry rolls her eyes when she recognises Louis’ voice around the ‘can you leave’ mark. The lady behind the counter just about balks, turning as white as her apron, but then Louis’ hands are on Harry’s shoulders and she falls into place next to her.

“It’s all right Ruth, this is my girlfriend, Harry.” Louis laughs flippantly. “Harry, Ruth. Ruth, Harry.”

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Harry smiles politely, laughing too out of nerves. “Sorry, uh, she’s weird. You probably already know that, though!”

“Oi, watch it you or I’ll get you thrown out for real!” Louis calls from across the floor where she’s selecting a coffee mug. It’s a good thing Louis is one of the longest running and most well-known staff members at Poppy’s because she’d probably get the sack for her antics otherwise.

Harry pays Ruth and takes her treats.

“Is one of those for me?” Louis asks, looking over as she pours a coffee. “It’d better be.”

“Might be,” Harry shrugs with a small smile. She perches on a nearby seat. “Might eat them both myself.”

Louis throws her a look. “Don’t be cruel.” She sets off carefully with the coffee in hand, setting it down at the table she’s serving. She’s away for a few moments, making friendly small talk with the two older ladies at the table.

Harry watches fondly as Louis charms them; making jokes and letting the banter flow freely. She’s going to miss this soon. 

With a shuddering sigh Harry pushes that thought away and pulls her raspberry slice from the white paper bag. She takes a solemn bite, savouring the sweetness of the raspberry swirl, the almond flakes for texture and the light, airy sponge. 

As she swallows she forces herself to smile. Louis is approaching her, untying the strings of her apron as she moves. 

“That’s me done,” She announces, catching the material as she finally gets the knot undone. “You okay to wait here for one sec while I get my stuff?”

Harry nods and Louis leaves her with a little tweak of her knuckles. Harry can still feel the ghost of Louis’ touch after she disappears. She catches Ruth smiling at her fondly and she instantly blushes. 

When Louis returns they make their way out of Poppy’s, Louis’ departure capturing the attention of almost all the staff and patrons. Harry admires the way Louis is so adored; it makes her feel a bit better about leaving. Only a bit though. An inconsequential bit. 

They’re going university shopping, which is nowhere near as fun as Harry from a year ago had thought it would be. She’s already sorted the bulk of the boring bits like bed sheets, mugs and glasses, two brand new pillows and extension leads. She’s very well read in online lists of what to take for university; she’s had them memorised since the new year. 

Things she’d never have considered like extra USB cables, Tupperware and a laundry basket will all come in handy as she tries to navigate as comfortable a life as possible whilst in halls. 

She still needs the odd few bits though, lots of little things that will clear most of the things off her to-do list, and that’s what they’re here for today. 

They stand in the kitchenware aisle of Wilko  staring blankly at rows and rows of utensils. Harry suddenly can’t remember the name of that bowl shaped thing with the holes in for draining pasta, and maybe if she focuses hard enough on trying to remember it everything else will sort itself out in the meantime. 

She sneaks a glance at Louis out of the corner of her eye; she’s standing with her weight on one leg, surveying the same items with a neutral, vacant expression. Neither of them has said a word since they walked into the shop five minutes ago and Harry pointed out the aisle they needed. 

“I don’t wanna do this.” Harry admits with a sigh, breaking the awkward silence some moments later. 

“Me either,” Louis agrees quietly, her gaze dropping down to the scuffed floor. “We have to, though. You’re going in eight days.”

Harry doesn’t need reminding of that, nor does she want to be. “I know that.” She replies shortly. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to state the obvious.”

Harry just hums noncommittally. She can see where this is heading and she doesn’t like it one bit, so, “Come on,” She says, “We’re being stupid. I’m not wasting the week we’ve got left having stupid arguments about… whatever the hell this thing is called!”

She grabs the pasta drainer off the shelf and holds it up; glaring at it like it’s personally wronged her. 

“It’s a colander,” Louis says eventually, with a wry smile. 

Well, there you go. 

 

♀♀

 

They come out of the shops with two big bags each. They bus it back to Harry’s and she lays everything out on her bedroom floor to catalogue it all. 

A bottle opener, coat hangers, plasters, paracetamol, a pair of scissors and blu tack lay in front of her in one pile, with all the kitchen utensils in another. 

“How much more is left to go?” Louis asks as Harry puts her notepad down, a big chunk now crossed off. 

“I was gonna get a new duvet cover,” Harry replies as she consults her list for anything she may have inexplicably forgotten. 

“Why?” Louis asks, sounding timid. “What’s wrong with the ones you have here?”

“Nothing,” Harry says, almost defensively. “Just… thought new ones would-”

“New start, new bed right?” Louis interrupts.

“Lou-”

“It’s fine, Haz,” Louis interrupts. “Ignore me. I’m just starting to pick a fight, and I don’t know why because that’s not even what I want.”

“I don’t wanna think about it today, Lou-Lou.” Harry mitigates. “Can we just pretend for now that it’s not happening? I don’t want to argue.”

Louis lets her shoulders slump then she reaches out across the few inches that feel like a mile. “I don’t wanna argue either,” She says as she links their fingers together. “Can we put all of this stuff away now and cuddle?”

Harry puts all of her purchases back in the carrier bags for the time being and the two of them lay side by side on their backs on the floor, hands clasped loosely between their bodies. Harry appreciates the thick carpet that tickles her shoulders as she wriggles to get comfy; being on the floor is no good for her back.

“Do you remember music lessons in year nine?” Louis asks with fond nostalgia. “They were a complete mess around, weren’t they?”

Harry remembers year nine; that was before her Big Gay Revelation. Well, it was actually right on the cusp of it. Fourteen years of age and hopelessly and confusingly attracted to one of the McQueen sisters in Hollyoaks and wondering why Magic Mike did absolutely nothing for her.

“Yeah, those were the days,” Harry remembers fondly. “We just used to piss around. I sorta feel sorry for the teacher now.”

“If I remember rightly it was mostly me and Zayn. You and Liam were always the goody-goodies.”

Harry laughs; there’s no point in denying that. “Yeah. You two plus Niall lead us astray.”

“I did nothing of the sort!” Louis giggles. “I just knew deep down there was a rebel inside you dying to get out and make some heads roll!”

“No you didn’t,” Harry scoffs. “You used to take the piss outta me all the time, calling me a geek and lame and-”

“If I’d have known you secretly loved me I would’ve been a lot nicer!” Louis interrupts loudly.

“I didn’t secretly love you at that point. That was later.”

Louis laughs as she drops Harry’s hand and rolls onto her front, propping herself up on her elbows. “Yeah, I kinda remember it, Haz; kinda hard to forget.”

Harry looks away with a blush high on her cheeks as she remembers that awkward transition between friends and girlfriends. Not that they made the distinction so quickly; it was a while before they looked back at that day on the school field, surrounding by daisies in the grass and up against the trunk of an old oak tree they’d sat opposite, hands clutched, making their shaky confessions. 

“We’ve come a long way since then.”

“Yep,” Louis agrees. “I finally grew above five foot.”

“Shut up, you were cute!” Harry smiles up at the ceiling. 

“I think all of my height got re-routed to my arse,” Louis remarks, wiggling her hips. 

Louis is the runt of their friendship group now but before puberty  _ finally _ hit she was even more petite, even more undefined. By the time Harry realised that yes, perhaps she  _ liked _ her best friend she didn’t care about anything like that. Louis was short; she liked her that way. Louis was flat-chested; she liked her that way. Louis’ bum was perhaps slightly disproportionate to the rest of her body, but again, Harry liked her that way.

Still does.

“Girls!” Anne’s voice at the foot of the stairs suddenly interrupts them. “Tea’s on the table!”

 

♀♀

 

They go for a walk after tea, out of the residential area towards the lake which backs onto an industrial estate where Liam’s mum works. It’s past seven but it’s still bright and warm; the sound of cars and birds and kids playing filling the air. 

The two of them walk slowly, perhaps both subconsciously trying to delay the inevitable. When they get to the lake, a serene, lush haven bizarrely placed down in the middle of a concrete jungle, it’s deserted, much to Harry’s relief.

They take one of the benches, basking in a column of warm sunlight as swans glide gracefully over the rippling water surface. They don’t talk much as they sit there, preferring to just take in the scenery and pass the occasional comment. Louis’ leg pressed up against the length of her own is all the comfort Harry needs right now.

They sit there until nine; the air sits coolly around their shoulders now, little pinpricks of goosebumps jumping up all over Louis’ skin, directly in Harry’s line of vision where she sits with her head resting on Louis’ shoulder. 

It’s not quite dark yet; the sun has all but dipped behind the buildings and the moon and stars have already sprung up but there is some residual blue in the sky and the odd bird that flies over tweeting happily. 

“We should start walking before it gets too dark,” Louis says softly. They’re about half way between both houses from here. 

Harry waits a beat or two before lifting her head off Louis’ shoulder and freeing herself from the loose loop of Louis’ arm around her. “Yeah,” She agrees half-heartedly. “I’m getting cold now, anyway.”

Louis agrees, and Harry wonders if, like her, Louis would withstand ice blasts and snow storms if it meant an hour longer sitting here on this bench together.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Harry assures her. Seeing Louis every day for eight days is no hardship, of course. “If you still want to do the seeing-me-everyday thing?”

Louis frowns at her. “Try and keep me away.” She replies with a smirk. 

 

♀♀

 

Louis is working Saturday as well so Harry’s morning is spent wandering around Tesco with her mum. She’s got her own small trolley and has picked up more batteries, tea bags and perhaps most elusive of all, a door stop. She read on some forum that they’re good for house parties, but something in the darkest corners of her mind had suggested shoving under the _ inside _ of the door to keep people out while she sleeps.

She thinks her mum would be proud of her forward thinking.

“They never seem to have the garlic and herb sausages anymore!” Anne interrupts Harry’s thoughts, and she focuses back on the gap in the refrigerator between the normal sausages and the low fat ones that her mum is currently frowning at.

“Oh dear…” Harry smirks behind her mum’s back. She has to stop herself making a sausage-related remark, remembering whose company she is currently in. 

“Oh well, it’ll have to be Cumberland!” Anne sighs, grabbing a packet off the shelf and tossing them into the trolley. 

Later on, Harry meets Louis from work and they go up the street to Superdrug so Louis can buy hair oil and moisturiser. 

“What a horrible word,” Harry remarks as they walk towards the skin care section. “Moisturiser.  _ Moist- _ uriser, urgh.”

Louis just laughs at her and deposits her items at the till, grabbing a packet of peach lemonade flavour Tic-Tacs and some chewing gum too.

They’ve made plans to go for a meal this evening; make the most of their last Saturday together, though neither of them are acknowledging that fact. Next Saturday will be utter carnage, Harry’s sure, what with Niall’s early birthday party and their four individual leaving parties all rolled into one ‘superparty’.

Harry sits on Louis’ bed while Louis is in the shower, playing on her phone and listening to Louis’ brothers creating havoc for their mum downstairs. They get ready together once Louis returns, hair dryers blazing. Louis changes her outfit three times before settling on black jeans and a light blazer over a peachy coloured top, and Harry has on grey skinnies and a striped sheer shirt.

They follow their route back towards town, past all the closed shop fronts, past Poppy’s all locked up for the evening. They sit outside in the pub garden, shucking off their layers as they sit down, accompanied by the waitress. They order glasses of rosé and feel very grown up and sophisticated as they peruse the menus and drink pink bubbles from long stemmed glasses.

Though they’re supposed to be ignoring the elephant in the room, Harry can’t help but let slip some of the things that are playing at the forefront of her mind regarding uni, and Louis indulges her. She’s going to miss Louis, that goes without saying, and the idea of starting afresh in a new city is daunting but overall her feeling is that she’s excited for uni, can’t wait to experience student life and learn how to be independent, and she can’t help but let that enthusiasm and excitement pool inside her and spill over as she talks.

 

♀♀

 

Sunday is another scorcher. With a full belly and three glasses of rosé clouding her head last night Harry slept well, and after a chicken salad lunch because Anne refuses to slave over a roast in the kitchen all day, Harry escapes with a share size bag of Cadbury buttons and meets Louis at the kiddie park on the playing fields by her house.

It’s busy at the park. They sit cross-legged on the grass sharing the chocolate buttons then walk slowly to the corner shop to get drinks. They amble back slowly and the park has cleared out while they’ve been gone so they take up residence on the swings, swaying back and forth in the breeze as they talk. 

Harry takes note of the fact that as Louis shuffles back on the swing getting comfortable, the tips of her toes only  _ just _ reach the ground. She doesn’t point it out though, just smiles to herself.

 

♀♀

 

It’s the start of a brand new week and Louis is back at work. Harry hears from her in the morning via the medium of text message while she is getting ready to go. Harry herself lies in bed with messy hair and fluffy socks on, replying to Louis’ messages until they peter out just before ten.

It’s like she has nothing to do until popping into Louis’ work at two to have lunch together, their planned meeting up for the day. She’s been looking at the surrounding area of the university on Google Street View all morning, familiarising herself with it and even looking up reviews of the local cafes and bars on Trip Advisor.

It’s half past one by the time Harry looks at the time, and she leaps out of bed, panicking as she realises she’s going to be late. She sticks her hair up in a messy bun and changes into a simple blue floral playsuit and white cardigan. Lip balm is the best she can do for makeup and she puts her sunglasses on over her tired eyes, hiding a multitude of sins. 

When she bursts through the door of Poppy’s at five past and pulls off her sunglasses, she has to blink to adjust to the change in light but finds Louis behind the counter with pink cheeks and a slight sheen of sweat in her hairline.

“Hello,” She says emotionlessly as she looks up. “Was beginning to think you’d stood me up.”

“Sorry, I-” Harry decides at the last minute not to say she was looking at uni stuff. “Sorry I’m late.”

“It’s okay,” Louis says, softer this time. “I’m just making a sarnie. What can I get for you?”

“Sarnie too please,” Harry steps towards the counter, surveying the choice of sandwich fillings. “Cheese and tomato please?”

Louis finishes making her sandwich and then starts on Harry’s, slyly deducting her staff discount from Harry’s total and they take a table in the back. Louis pulls off her apron so she can’t be bothered for half an hour.

She asks Harry how her morning has been and Harry asks what Louis has been up to at work. Louis has a few stories that seem more like you had to be there to really get it, but Harry wants to know it all anyway.

Once they’ve eaten, Louis returns to the counter and comes back with the biggest wedge of Victoria sponge cake that Harry has ever seen for them to share, and afterwards Harry heads home to find her uni books have been delivered from eBay. The thrill that she gets from a pile of dog-eared second hand books is borderline concerning, really.

“Hi love,” Her mum greets her when she gets in from work later on that afternoon. “Ooh, books! When did they come?”

“Just today,” Harry replies. “They delivered them to Cathy. She shouted over the fence to me as I was walking in from seeing Lou.”

“Great,” Anne smiles as she unpacks a few things from a Co-Op bag into the fridge. “Think of all that money you’ve saved getting them online. I know you weren’t keen on the idea, but it’s really sensible.”

“I know,” Harry shrugs. She’s over that now. “It’s fine. I thought they’d be all torn and smelly but they’re not.”

Anne just laughs at her. “And how is Lou?”

“She’s fine,” Harry replies. “Think she was a bit stressed. All hot and sweaty when I saw her. She’s working every day this week. Apart from Friday, of course.”

“Of course,” Anne agrees, pausing for a moment before tilting her head and giving Harry a sympathetic smile. “You two’ll be all right, you know? After Friday.”

“Yeah,” Harry agrees quickly, though she doesn’t feel overly confident right now. She doesn’t like leaving Louis less than one hundred percent happy. “Yeah I hope so. It’s only a little over three months there and I’ll be back for a month for Christmas anyway. Plus, Manchester isn’t a million miles away is it?”

She trails off, realising she’s been rambling. Her mum is still giving her that sympathetic look and Harry wonders who she is trying to convince more, her mum or herself. She wonders if her mum is thinking the same thing.

 

♀♀

 

In the end, Harry goes back out to meet Louis from work; she can’t bear the thought of being needlessly alone with her thoughts tonight when she could be with Louis soaking up two or three more hours before ninety long days of separation.

She waits outside, not sure her emotions could take having to step inside and possibly make polite conversation with anyone other than her girlfriend right now. Louis almost walks straight past her when she leaves but then she comes to an abrupt halt, turns back and stares in disbelief.

“What’re you doin’ here? I thought we-”

“I didn’t wanna spend the night by myself. I just wanted to see you again.”

Louis quickly breaks into a broad grin and holds her hand out. “Come on, angel cake, let’s go and buy some chocolate to make ourselves feel better.”

They walk to the Co-Op; the air conditioned shop feels like heaven. Louis buys 3 for £1 bags of sweets and 2 for £1.20 chocolate bars and they eat them as they walk. Louis complains the entire way home about how hot she is in her all-black ensemble and how much her feet ache. Harry doesn’t point out that she feels equally as hot and bothered and she’s in a flowery sundress and pink cardi. 

They spend the evening in Harry’s conservatory with the fan blowing artificially cool air on them and the blinds pulled up so they can watch the sun go down. Anne makes BLT’s and oven chips for them for tea and when the house phone begins to shrill she answers it with a wide smile as she greets Jay on the other end.

“Ah yes, those daughters of ours!” She says loudly with a chuckle as she disappears off into the living room, shutting the door carefully behind her. 

The two of them shake their heads at each other and go back to chatting about random, nonsensical things until half past ten when Anne pokes her head round the door and suggests that they start thinking about saying goodbye now.

Harry goes with them when Anne drives Louis home and the three of them have a good old sing song to Cher on the radio. For once the evening ends on a high note – literally.

 

♀♀

 

Louis is in a better frame of mind on Tuesday. She’d had a driving lesson early that morning before work, and then apparently got to leave work early because one of the fridges stopped working, which was not so good for business but good for her. 

They meet up at Harry’s house, spending the afternoon out in the back garden. Louis makes several jokes about how blinding Harry’s pinkish white legs are, and Harry compares Louis’ tan to a brown leather sofa, but as they lie together talking on a beach towel on the grass, stopping occasionally to eat Haribo sweets, it’s more than perfect. 

They don’t go into Harry’s room, which is good because a lot of her personal knick knacks are now packed away;  _ that _ had been a pleasant afternoon in which Harry had  _ definitely _ not cried. No, instead they’re going to the open air cinema, which is basically just a big screen temporarily erected within the grounds of a nearby country park, where you can take blankets and sit and watch an old film. 

Harry has been swooning at the idea ever since it was confirmed at the last minute late last evening. As a group they’ve been chattering vaguely about it for a while, and since this is the last week of showings it only seems fitting to squeeze in a trip before everything turns itself on its head.

They’re going to see the 9pm screening of Legally Blonde, with Prosecco and popcorn for their troubles. By quarter past eight they’ve all gathered at Niall’s awaiting their taxi. The chatter is mainly positive and Harry does her best to block out that this is the last ‘normal’ night they’re all going to spend together, definitely for a long time, maybe even ever.

She shudders as that thought burrows into her brain. She grips her vodka shot – the pre-drinks were Niall’s idea of course - and throws it down her throat, telling the voice in her head with her sharpest tone that those thoughts are  _ not _ welcome tonight.

They chatter in the taxi, Niall taking it upon herself to befriend the driver. Thankfully the journey isn’t too long and they arrive at the park before the taxi driver can go  _ completely _ insane.

It’s already busy but they’ve got e-tickets in Liam’s name so they’re guaranteed a spot. There is a tense few seconds where they all expect someone to flag up Niall’s age but then the attendant plonks a bottle of Prosecco into a mottled silver bucket of ice and rather unceremoniously hands three bags of Butterkist popcorn to Zayn.

Over on the left side about half way down there is a space so they settle down there; settling down their blanket on the grass. The plastic champagne glasses are practical but not exactly glamorous, though the entire effect of the event is notched down by the spotty young boys acting as attendants and the fingerprint smudges on the Prosecco bottles.

Nonetheless, when Legally Blonde starts they forget about all of those things and they have a really good laugh. Harry is surprised to find that she still remembers  a lot of the dialogue, and they all celebrate Elle’s empowering victory over Warner with an illicit glug of vodka in their Prosecco glasses and about a million selfies and group shots as the credits roll.

The taxi drops them all off at their various locations on the way home; Niall makes a loud scene, jeering them lovingly as Louis leans over to kiss Harry goodbye, promising she’ll see her tomorrow.

Messages pop through over the span of the next ten minutes or so from various girls telling her they’re home safe. She sends yellow heart emojis back to all three of them, and then opens Louis’ chat and they text non-stop until gone two am.

 

♀♀

 

Wednesday is a myriad of double and triple checking all her lists, confirming with her dad that he can still use one of his work vans to move her stuff, and even perusing her mum’s Delia Smith cookbooks because she suddenly starts panicking that she won’t know how to feed herself come D-Day.

She’s glad to be out of the house by the time she meets Louis from Poppy’s at six. Louis has had an average day, she says, not good and not bad. Just normal. Harry wants her to elaborate so badly, but she doesn’t push it. Things feel a bit delicate.

They get the bus to the retail park and go to find new bedding for Harry. They walk around Next, marvelling at the luxuriously expensive duvet covers with sequins and intricate metallic stitching but in the end Louis helps Harry choose a lilac and blue ditzy print one from the cheap shop next door. She picks up two covers, three fitted sheets and a pack of pillow cases in a similar blue hue.

“They’ll look nice,” Louis comments as they move towards the till queue.  “In your new home.”

“Temporary home,” Harry amends. “Hopefully by the time you come for your first visit I’ll be settled in.”

“You haven’t even gone yet!” Louis smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. 

 

♀♀

 

Thursday hits Harry harder than any day that has come so far. It’s raining outside her window and the tears that bleed from the charcoal clouds don’t let up all morning. Her own tears tracking down her blotchy face are much the same. 

The last thing to pack away, the thing that she’s been putting off all this time, despite how organised she likes to be, is her photos. Taking them down cements the reality that she’s moving on; no matter how much of a good thing going off to uni is it’s still the most stressful and life changing thing she’s ever done, so far.

She starts by taking her fairy lights down; they’re not really that important. She unwinds the lights from around her headboard, fights with a knot that has somehow tangled itself around the bed leg, and then sets the lights down on the bed. She sits down too, overwhelmed by the few minutes of hard work. 

She’s putting off taking her photos down because that means looking at them up close, unpinning them so they can be safely transported to Manchester and then re-hung. So instead of tackling that, she takes the rose petals from around the mirror off. She holds them in her hands; the pink felt faded from the sun and coated in a layer of dust.

She can’t bring herself to do it yet; she bolts out of her room and closes the door. She does downstairs, hands trembling as she darts into the kitchen and grabs a glass from the shelf. She downs two glasses of water, her tummy aching as the cool liquid slips down and expands her insides. 

It’s a long time before she’s able to do anything other than sit on the floor in the middle of the kitchen  crying. Thank God no one is here to see-

“Haz?” A familiar voice sounds. She looks up to see her brother in the doorway, his keys in one hand and his jacket in the other. “What’s the matter, babes?”

Harry pales at the intrusion but she can’t find it in herself to care. She just sighs dramatically, throwing her hands up in the air and beginning to howl again. 

“I can’t do it! I’ve gotta pack up my pictures and I just realised that I’m going and it’s tomorrow and then the next day will be Saturday and I didn’t- I didn’t know it was gonna be this hard!”

He crouches down beside her on the kitchen floor, puts his arm around her and rubs the top of her arm awkwardly. He never went to uni so it’s not like he can offer any advice.

“It’s all right, little sis,” He says softly. “Remember when all the lads went off to uni and got jobs here and there? It all worked out, we’re still mates.”

Harry is ashamedly more concerned about her and Louis’ fate than her and the other girls, but it’s definitely on her mind too. 

“Yeah, but-”

“No buts,” He interrupts. “You’ll be all right. I know it. You smashed your A-Levels, you’ll smash uni too. You’re the clever one out of the two of us.”

Harry giggles as she sniffs her tears away, aware of the state of her face. 

“I’m mum’s favourite,” She jokes weakly, and he laughs too. Incidentally he doesn’t disagree with her.

When she returns to her room, she’s both disappointed and relieved to find that nothing has changed. She sits back on her bed, picking up the rose petal garland and rubbing the dusty felt petals forlornly. She stares across the room at the pictures pinned above her chest of drawers. The absence of any other paraphernalia makes them look even more stark against the plain white walls.

It is a small lifetime before Harry gets up off her bed and crosses the room, feeling light like she’s full of helium. Her hands don’t grip tight enough the first time and she has to try again. She lifts the board off the wall and is surprised by how heavy it is. It has remained in place since she hung it up over four years ago, adding to it every few months when she’d had new photos developed. 

She starts with the Leeds festival lanyard hanging over the edge. When she runs her finger nail down the ridges of the fabric she can almost feel the noise and the excitement of that weekend. Sadly she puts it down on the bed next to her and moves on to the cards that are pinned on the very edge, overlapping each other to make space for them all. There are two of each; Christmas, birthday, Valentine’s Day and anniversary, all as cute and thoughtful and as the last.

She puts them carefully in a pile, sad to see a bit of discolouration from where the overlapped cards have been bleached by the sun. 

She’s purposely leaving the photos until last. The cinema tickets, most recently updated with their trip to see Legally Blonde, are the most fragile as they’re so delicate and small. Just like her Louis. 

Harry puts them off to one side in their own pile, double checking they don’t rip or blow away in a freak gust of wind.  Next is the postcard from their weekend in Blackpool last August. She smiles at the memories; how mature they’d felt booking their own train tickets, getting to the station on time, booking into the cheap hotel and then spending the afternoon getting windburn eating chips on the seafront.

All too soon, it’s time to take down her photos. She’s removing every single one and putting them in a small box for safe keeping; she’s not risking damage to any of them. There are probably close to fifty photos of varying sizes and quality. 

She takes her time, unpinning one photo at a time. There’s a whole adolescence of memories here; some pictures even pre-date her relationship with Louis. The thing is, the pictures of them and of all five of them from before they started going out together don’t look any different from the ones from after. She smiles at the pictures of five really young, naïve looking girls in their school uniforms. She can’t remember who took half of them, because all five of them are in shot.

There’s pictures of her and Liam in glittery pink cowboy hats, a picture of Niall with an Irish flag painted on her cheeks, one of the four girls in tutus on one of their birthdays; the sun is shining so it must’ve been Liam’s or Niall’s. 

The more recent additions include herself with a bottle of champagne, a picture of the five of them upside down on a sofa letting their hair trail the floor, and Louis landing a kiss right on her cheek. She smiles fondly at the ridiculous pouty sunglass-wearing selfies they took in July, and Louis’ selfies that Harry ripped directly from her Instagram account, sue her.

Harry’s heart skips a beat as she takes the very last picture off the board. It’s from the same day she was taking pictures of the girls, from the same batch as the one she gave to Louis for her birthday. Louis has her head on Liam’s shoulder smiling about something, Niall is sitting watching them with a far off look in her eye and Zayn is gazing down at her phone. It captures nothing special and it’s pretty insignificant, nobody can even remember it being taken, but for Harry it’s been one of her favourites for the past year or more.

Once the corkboard is bare she studies the pin holes in it, each one a tiny reminder of the closing chapter of her life. A new one is beginning now, and she remembers Louis’ words: a new chapter is beginning but it’s the same book. These memories will go with her to uni, she’ll pin them all back on carefully and she’ll continue to admire them every day.

 

♀♀

 

Louis has texted her that she’ll get the bus over due to the rain that still hasn’t let up, so all Harry can do is sit around and wait. At twenty five to seven Louis appears at her bedroom door, let in by Anne.

Louis visibly balks when she sees how bare Harry’s room is. 

“Bloody hell, this is really sad.” She comments as she steps inside. “I don’t like this, can I leave, come back and it all be back to normal please?”

“Lou…” Harry trails miserably, looking up with sad eyes at Louis’ resigned frame. 

“It’s okay,” Louis waves a hand feebly. “I’m sorry. I… I’m just, I’m not ready for this, Haz.”

Louis comes over, sits down on the end of the bed and gathers her hands in her lap. She’s got dusty flour stains on her black trousers and her mascara has transferred under her left eye. As Harry studies her face, Louis turns away, lets her head hang and her gaze fall somewhere on the carpet.

“Baby?”

Louis doesn’t look up until a beat has passed, but that millisecond feels like a lifetime. When she looks up she’s got tears in her tired blue eyes and Harry’s heart shatters. She scrambles onto her knees and reaches out for Louis, pulling her in.

They tumble down together, crashing against the mattress and wrapping their arms around each other. Harry slots her foot in between Louis’ and flattens her palm over her lower back to pull her in as close as is humanly possible. They kiss as they cry, pulling apart to make inhuman noises and choking sobs because it’s easier than actual social interaction. 

The tears roll down Louis’ cheeks and smudge against Harry’s skin as they fight themselves to get closer and closer. Louis lifts her hands from Harry’s hips and threads her fingers through her hair, discovering every knot on the way through but Harry doesn’t stop her. She never wants to forget how Louis’ lips feel, what the tip of her tongue feels like and the ridges of her teeth. 

“I love you,” She murmurs into Louis’ open mouth, licking her tongue around with Louis’ and feeling all the areas that she can. 

Harry pulls away from Louis, feeling the heels of Louis’ palms against her jaw as she cradles her face, her fingers brushing over her cheekbones and up to her temples. They stare intensely at each other, breathing heavily.

“I love you; you’re my everything, Lou. My superhero, I don’t know how you do it. I love you. I love you.”

Harry surges forward for more kisses, littering them with repeated chants of her love.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,” Louis says earnestly, bringing her hand round to brush her thumb under Harry’s eyes. “Gonna miss this face and these eyes; my favourite eyes. I’ll miss these lips, so soft and so pretty. The best kisses I ever had.”

“You’re the best I ever had,” Harry murmurs, which is moot because Louis’ the only one she’s ever had, but the point still stands. 

“I’m gonna miss talking to you whenever I want; seeing you, the smell of your hair.”

“We’ll be okay won’t we?” Harry whispers, her heart thumping so hard in her chest she’s surprised Louis can’t see it under her skin and bones.

Louis nods vehemently. “Yes. You an’ me are forever, Haz.”

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“I want- Harry, you feel. Can I?”

As eloquent as that was, Harry knows exactly what Louis is asking. She nods, biting down on the inside of her bottom lip as she leans away from Louis to study the shadowy darkness of her determined eyes. 

It’s one of the most intense and ground-breaking orgasms of Harry’s life, but it’s also one of the quietest; bearing in mind her mum is downstairs in the conservatory. She feels like she teeters on the edge for much longer than normal before crashing over the apex with her face buried deep in between Louis’ neck and the pillow, hoping the pillow will eat her noises.

The feel of Louis between her folds is never going to get old; Harry is always going to want it. One of Louis’ knees draws up as she comes too. She clamps down hard on the same two fingers she’s just removed from Harry and does a better job of keeping her sounds to a minimum. 

They take it turns to use the bathroom and then spend the rest of the evening in Harry’s bed. After a hectic week it’s nice not to do anything but be with each other. She’s going to make the most of it while she can.

 

♀♀

 

Harry has never seen Niall’s house so crowded. She can’t believe Niall’s parents are so trusting, either. 

With the arrival of her and Louis that completes their usual group of five, as well as Ed – of course – Elliot and two other friends of theirs, plus Perrie and her three mates Jesy, Jade and Leigh. There are other people dotted around and Harry just knows their faces, she doesn’t know them well enough to talk to. She guesses they arrived via Perrie and her friends.

“Hello!” Niall greets them loudly as they push inside the front door that has been left on the latch. “I’m already drunk, it’s great!”

“Nice one, Nialler,” Louis smiles as she side-steps some coats. She just manages to catch Niall in time as she comes crashing in for a cuddle.

“Harry!” Niall exclaims as she spins out of Louis’ arms. “Harriet Styles, as I live and breathe! Bring it in, Twiggy!”

Harry doesn’t know how to feel about the nickname, but she accepts Niall’s cuddle anyway. They separate and make their way down the hallway towards the kitchen, Niall shouting vague instructions on where the drink is and that they’re to help themselves until it’s all gone, then someone will be sent to get more. 

Louis smirks over her shoulder at Harry. Niall’s kitchen has been annihilated already and it’s not even nine yet. Harry would  _ not _ want to be Niall attempting to tidy this mess up tomorrow before her parents get back ahead of her departure on Sunday.

There are empty beer cans and throwaway cups everywhere, plastic coloured wine glasses and liquid spillages all over the counter tops. There are bottle caps and twist off lids scattered all over the place and Doritos and onion rings getting crushed into the floor tiles.

Niall doesn’t seem to mind one bit though. 

They find two bottles of something fruity and then spend five minutes hunting for the bottle opener. Perrie waves hello to Louis and Ed mumbles a shy hello to them both, and then they filter outside to Niall’s big back garden. Perrie’s three friends are sitting around the table, one and a half bottles of rosé wine between them. The two of them smile politely at the girls and then find a spot with Liam, Ed and Elliot. 

The boys put away their beers at a rate of knots; eight cans amass on the grass around them in the half an hour they sit around laughing and joking. Elliot gets up, without even being asked, every time the girls’ drinks run dry and returns with full bottles and the opener for them, ever the gentleman.

Perrie and her friends are very noisy; giggling and their shouting getting louder and louder with every sip. The more drinks Harry consumes, the less aware and conscious of her surroundings she becomes though. All she knows is Liam and Ed make a damn cute couple, Louis is by her side leaning in to nuzzle her or touch her arm every minute or so, and it’s still warm even as the light diminishes around them. 

By ten o’clock the floor lamp from the living room has been plugged into an extension cord and dragged outside onto the patio, and three empty bottles have already been smashed. Niall is nowhere to be found right now, Liam and Ed excused themselves a while ago to get another drink and God knows where Elliot went, probably to stand awkwardly next to Liam and Ed. 

Harry’s not really sure how they end up in the busy kitchen, but they do. She can feel Louis pressed close to her side, a constant reassurance. Louis looks a bit fuzzy round the edges now; that’ll be the alcohol coursing through Harry’s blood. Her wavy hair that had taken an annoyingly short time to style is wilting a bit now and there’s an inexplicably wet strand hanging by her cheek that Harry immediately reaches out to touch.

“What happened?” She asks as Louis flinches instinctively at the hand approaching her eye.

Louis just shrugs and Harry sees her eyes swivel towards the corner of her lashes to look at where Harry is tugging the strand. “Dunno.”

Harry can’t formulate any more words; she just stands there, running the damp line of hair between her thumb and forefinger. She bites down on her bottom lip as she tries not to giggle, though she’s not sure what’s funny.

“Shots!” Someone suddenly calls, cutting short Harry’s daydream.

That’s Niall’s voice, Harry deduces, but she is growing less and less aware of anything else around her besides Louis by her side looking bedraggled as she clutches an empty cup. As she turns, using her full body to track down the source of the noise, she notices Liam and Zayn on the other side of the kitchen, and Niall bursting through the doorway with a bottle of Smirnoff in her hand.

“C’mon girls, shots time!” Niall rounds them all in, gesticulating dangerously with the bottle.

The five of them crowd in, Louis’ hand a constant presence in the left side of her lower back as they cross the kitchen to where Niall is setting up their shots.

Someone – presumably Niall - has put Skittles in the vodka bottle and despite Harry’s initial fears of the choking hazard, she’s soon giggling along with everyone else as they chuck the clear, slightly sweetened liquid down their throats and chew on the little sweets that have been stripped of their colour by the alcohol. 

Niall bounds off to offer shots to everyone else; Harry watches, blinking heavily to remain focussed, as Niall downs a sticky sweet shot with Perrie and the girls, but then she loses her again when Niall dives into the middle of the crowd of boys milling around in the corner of the garden smoking roll up cigarettes. 

Zayn appears suddenly, thrusts another drink into both their hands and then disappears again. 

“Shall we- over there?” Louis asks.

“Where?” Harry asks, perturbed by Louis’ so-called question.

Louis is pointing towards the sofas, but as they wobble towards them Liam and Ed jump in ahead of them so they carry on going. They come to a quiet spot at the foot of the stairs in the hallway. The thump of the music is slightly less here, and it’s more secluded. Jesy emerges from the loo and stumbles past; greeting them as if they’re long lost best mates, the three of them.

After Jesy has hugged them both, told them she loves them and choked them both on the strong smell of hairspray lingering in her long hair, she carries on going back to the party leaving Harry and Louis alone on the stairs.

Louis’ breath is honeyed and strong with all the sugary sweet drinks she’s consumed. She wets her lips with the tip of her tongue and with a smile she leans in to press a kiss to the tip of Harry’s nose.

“I love you,” Louis says simply, letting her eyes fall closed as she leans in and presses her forehead to Harry’s. They stay like that for a few moments, close and breathing in the same air. There is so much going on around them, music and loud voices and a mysterious banging noise, but right here in the hallway surrounded by jackets and shoes it’s just the two of them. 

“I love you too,” Harry murmurs, her heartbeat catching in her throat.

Louis leans back, taking Harry’s hand and squeezing it tight. “This has been the best last night ever,” She says with drunken gravity that would otherwise be quite humorous. “I don’t want to make it sad; I just want to have a good time, y’know? Wanna be drunk and hold your hand and kiss you and not care. Not even think about tomorrow until I absolutely have to.”

“That sounds good to me,” Harry replies, breaking the space between them with a kiss. She reaches up and slots her fingers into Louis’ drooping hair, pulling her forward urgently. She wants to kiss any doubt from Louis, she needs to make sure she knows how special this night is; the same for every night that has been and every night that will be.

All of a sudden, thunderous footsteps are coming down the carpeted stairs towards them and they pull apart abruptly, looking around to see Niall approaching quickly. 

“C’mon, lovebirds!” She shouts as she grips the bannisters either side and vaults over their heads, landing surprisingly gracefully on the floor. “We’re all going back outside; I just remembered the outdoor heater in the garage!”

Just as they’re get up to move back outside, a rather sheepish looking Elliot appears on the stairs, following the exact same path Niall had just taken a moment ago. Harry whirls around to look at Louis with bemused fascination as they put two and two together. Niall, however, is already long gone as Elliot dashes past them with flaming red cheeks and a mark on his neck.

After their brief time-out on the stairs, they get a second wind outside in the garden surrounded by everyone. The theme of the night seems to be nostalgia now, and they all chatter excitedly over each other as they reflect on the past few years they’ve all shared together in some form or another. The five of them and the four girls, the boys and their memories mixed together with memories that Perrie and Louis share, and Harry and Ed, and stories Elliot has from his own school.

They toast to new beginnings and clink their various beverages together; glass bottles, cans and plastic cups that overflow an amalgamation of alcohols. 

“Oh, fuck it! C’mere!” Perrie suddenly exclaims, and she is up on her feet and crossing the patio like a graceless baby elephant, in Zayn’s direction.

Perrie clambers into Zayn’s lap, lifting her head up with both hands and sinking into the other girl in a crushing great kiss.

“What?!” Louis shrieks with delight at the vision. “ _ When _ did this happen,  _ what _ the  _ hell _ is this?!”

Zayn blushes profusely as Perrie climbs off her and sits down on Zayn’s lap. “I dunno, it just sorta…” She giggles. “Happened, didn’t it love?”

Harry’s eyebrows are up at her hairline, Louis’ jaw is on the floor and Niall is grinning broadly. “This is mint!”

“I can’t believe I’m not the only gay in the village anymore!” Louis wails, clutching her hands to her chest. “I’m so proud I think I might cry!” 

“Shut up, you weren’t the only gay in the village anyway you tit!” Zayn comments, linking her fingers through Perrie’s. “Are you forgetting your girlfriend or what?”

Louis turns to Harry, looking crestfallen. “I could never forget you, baby.”

Harry rolls her eyes. Louis is _ spectacularly _ drunk. “I know, Lou, don’t worry. I didn’t think you had.”

“Anyway, I’m not gay; I think I’m probably just… Perriesexual?” Zayn says with a smile. Perrie  _ aww’s _ but the rest of them groan loudly, mixed in with chuckles and looks of adoration for the new couple.

“Oh my God, that was cheesier than anything even  _ Harry _ could come up with!” Louis bellows, holding her head in her hands as Harry thumps her with an indignant  _ oi!  _ and Niall continues to heckle Perrie and Zayn.

Within half an hour, Niall has her tongue publically down Elliot’s throat and nobody else seems to bat an eyelid at the revelation, and Harry and Louis realise that they’ve gone from being the only ones in a couple to being part of a group of four couples.

The evening dies down a bit and eventually people start breaking off. Ed’s friends take off first, and though it takes some time, Niall and Elliot say goodbye to each other, and Liam and Ed, and then the three girls plus Perrie get in a taxi. The four of them that remain watch with fascination and with pride as Zayn and Perrie lightly kiss each other goodbye. They’re off to the same university, Newcastle being where Perrie is originally from, so they don’t have long to wait to see each other again. Harry is only slightly pissed off about that.

When Zayn returns, the five of them are reunited again, possibly for the last time in a long time. It doesn’t take long for them all to start crying, contrary to Louis’ earlier wishes, but she’s perhaps the most emotional.

“You dark horse, Zaynie!” Louis laughs through her tears. “I’m so proud of you, babes.”

Zayn blushes. “I just… I don’t even know how it happened. I’m just happy it did.”

Louis squeezes Harry’s knee with the unspoken solidarity of their trio and they all share a smile between them. 

They don’t acknowledge their imminent departures in actual words. They do their best to make the last few moments together a happy time though. They’re full of grand plans for their first big reunion during Christmas break and then again at Easter, and guaranteed debauchery during the long summer break, of course. 

After ten minutes of putting it off, Liam eventually self-nominates herself to call for a taxi, and once that’s done the five of them bundle on each other for a massive group hug. Sprawled out in the grass, the air around them still plenty warm, they savour the last few moments of their lives as they know it.

It’s overwhelming; Harry has a lump in her throat the size of Russia and it’s evident that they’re all in the same boat as Liam’s phone illuminates with a text alert from the taxi company. They scramble to their feet and Liam dashes out the front to let him know they’re coming. They gather their jackets up, hoping they’ve not forgotten anything, and the five of them traipse back through the house to the front garden.

The taxi is waiting for them on the kerb, the warm glow of the interior light nowhere near as inviting as Harry would’ve expected. They all go round hugging each other individually and then they have one last group hug.

“I love all you girls so much,” Liam is the first to start things off. “Thanks for some wicked memories. I love you all.”

“Love you too, Payno!” They all reply in some form or another.

“You lot are the best,” Louis offers. “I’ll miss you all.”

“It won’t be long and we’ll all be reunited!”

“You lot better get going,” Niall says eventually when the engine fan in the taxi kicks into life, indicating they’ve been standing timewasting far too long.

“Right!” They all exclaim at the same time. “Onwards and upwards. We’ll speak soon, okay Nialler?”

Niall waves them all off, blowing kisses extravagantly and wiping under her eyes as she giggles at the faces Zayn and Louis pull out the back window of their retreating taxi.

They have to repeat the ordeal when they drop Liam off, and again when they drop Zayn off. The taxi driver is very good though, he sits and waits for them as they all disembark at every stop and then get back in, each time with one person less than before.

After Zayn goes, it’s just the two of them left. The space in the back seat feels way too big now. She and Louis huddle close together, pressed as closely as possible but it still doesn’t feel enough. 

They thank and pay the taxi driver with the odd coins and rumpled notes that Liam had collected and handed to Harry for safe keeping when they got in, and then lurch up the path towards Harry’s front door. Her mum has left the porch light on and the lamp in the hallway down low, but the rest of the house is in darkness.

It’s  _ very  _ late;  _ much _ later than they’d promised. Harry feels guilty, but Louis evidently feels more so. 

“I feel bad for ruining your virtue!” Louis whispers, though it’s more of a hiss, not quiet at all.

Harry snorts, trying her hardest to be quiet too. “What?”

“We’re late home!” Louis elaborates. “We told your mum we’d be home before one!”

Harry doesn’t know what time it is now but something tells her it’s past one. There’s nothing they can do about it now though. They’re home and that’s all that matters. They kick off their shoes where they land and despite her state Harry still remembers to bolt the door and turn out the light as they feel their way up the stairs in the dark.

They fall onto Harry’s bed fully clothed, kissing blindly in the dim light of the room until suddenly they’re asleep. Harry wakes unconsciously at some point in the night and grabs her cardigan from the floor to use as a blanket. 

 

♀♀

 

The alarm going off at six am feels like a knife attack in Harry’s brain and ears. For a moment she is thoroughly confused; what is this clinically white, bare space and why is she here? Why does she have pins and needles in one arm? Then she realises. 

_ Then, _ she realises.

She sits bolt upright in bed, rolling Louis’ deadweight off of her in the process. Louis makes a noise of distaste and buries her face back into the pillow but Harry can’t sit still now she’s awake. She feels absolutely sick in her belly; she’s not sure if its nerves, dread or a hangover, though it’s likely a combination of all three. 

Louis is subdued and withdrawn from the moment she properly opens her eyes. She doesn’t speak much, and the smile that is probably supposed to be reassuring when she first gets out of Harry’s bed does nothing to calm her nerves.

It all moves very quickly; her dad arrives with the van early and they spend a solid hour packing it up with the last bits. Her grandparents are here, her brother, Auntie Carol and Cathy from next door.

Harry’s beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed with it all. 

She and Louis break off from the crowd, going back to Harry’s room where the only furniture that remains is her empty wardrobe, her bed and her empty chest of drawers. The boxes from the corner are gone and the last few bits in an Asda bag that she’d been keeping for an emergency is gone too. It really is bare now, completely packed up.

Suddenly, it’s all moving very slowly. It’s like wading through treacle, trying to close the small gap between their bodies. Harry stands in the middle of her empty bedroom, staring desperately across at Louis who is slumped against the closed door, looking distraught.

“Lou, I- I need you close.”

They fall into each other’s arms; Harry doesn’t even feel her feet carry her across the space. She picks Louis up into her arms, holding her tighter than she’s ever held her before.

“I love you,” Louis tells her, gripping her shoulders and talking into her hair. “No matter what happens-”

“Lou-“

Louis pulls away and looks up at Harry closely. “No _ , no matter _ what happens, our memories together will always be my favourite.” 

“As soon as I’m done I’ll be coming right back home to you,” Harry promises her. “Wherever you are, I’ll be there.”

“I don’t want this to be a goodbye; I just want it to be a pause.”

“It is,” Harry whispers. “It’s just a pause.”

When they venture back downstairs, Jay is in the hallway talking quietly with Anne. They both look up as the girls come down the stairs, Louis first with Harry trailing behind. 

“Mum?” Louis asks as she steps off the last step. “What’re you doing here?”

“I couldn’t not see Harry before she sets off on her adventure!” Jay says as if it’s obvious. “Plus, I thought you might need a shoulder of support, Lou.”

“Thanks for coming over, Jay.” Harry smiles and accepts Jay’s hug. 

“Oh I wouldn’t miss it for the world, Harry, you know that. I’m dead proud of you, sweetheart.”

“Thank you,” Harry whispers. She’s crying again. “I’m sorry for upsetting Lou.”

“Oh nonsense!” Jay clucks with a warm grin. “She’s a tough cookie, she’ll be fine. You both will.”

Harry hopes Jay is right. 

It’s not long until Anne is carefully prompting Harry outside towards the waiting moving van. 

Everyone piles outside. The day is a warm one; the sun has come out as if it wants to give Harry the very best send-off it can. 

Harry says goodbye to all the people she’s leaving behind; her grandparents, her brother, her Auntie Carol, Jay and Cathy from next door. She keeps it together throughout; clinging extra tight to her big brother and spending a few seconds longer with her nan.

She keeps it together all that time, but when she gets to the person she has purposely saved until last, it doesn't prove so easy. They both have tears in their eyes as they embrace; Louis lifts onto her tiptoes and they hold each other tight, rocking back and forth with the strength of their bond.

“You’re it for me, Haz,” Louis whispers, just so Harry can hear. “I’ll miss you every day. There won’t be a minute when I’m not thinking of you, sweetheart.”

Harry can’t speak; her throat has closed up and all she can do is sob. She doesn't want to let go of Louis, she just wants to stay here forever. She doesn't want to go to uni anymore, this right here is just fine. But then she feels Louis loosening her grip, an apologetic and entirely unprepared look on her face as Harry releases her.

“It’s time to go, Hazza.”

A fresh wash of tears spill over and Harry shakes her head, too terrified now the moment is upon her. “I don’t wanna go now.” She manages to choke out.

Louis nods her head resolutely, insistently. “Yes you do, you’ve been dreaming of this for years. Your whole life.”

“I just want you,” Harry insists, shaking her head.

Louis smiles sadly. “You have me. You can have both, Harry. Come on, it’s time baby girl.”

It takes a few more moments of coaxing but eventually Harry nods in acceptance of Louis’ words and with a reassuring squeeze on the elbow and a smile, Harry lets go and walks towards her mum.

“Ready, love?” Anne asks tentatively. Harry’s dad is leaning against the van door swinging the keys, as unbothered as ever.

Harry nods, reaching up to wipe her tears from under her eyes. She looks round to see Cathy from next door has gone, and her brother and auntie Carol too. She knows that other than her grandparents and Jay, the only person left now is Louis. But she’s not looking back, she can’t.

“Come on then, love. Do you want the window seat or the middle next to dad?”

The question makes Harry inadvertently giggle. It reminds her of being a kid, going on holiday to Spain or Greece, before the divorce and before her brother got ‘too cool’ for family holidays. Harry would always want the window seat on the plane, her mum in the middle, brother in the end seat and her dad on the aisle seat of the next row across.

Anne grins. “Window seat?” She asks, a glint in her eye that shows she knows exactly what her daughter is thinking.

“Yeah,” Harry confirms with a small smile. With that, Des heads round to the other side and Anne shuffles across the seats to the centre, leaving the door open for Harry. The engine sputters into life and she hears them start to debate the Satnav already.

She stares down at the pattern of the brick on her driveway, the way the grass grows and the way the air smells. For the next three years or so this won’t be home; a small room in the halls at Manchester University will be. There will be new faces, new experiences and new lessons to be learnt, both figuratively and literally.

But no matter what, this will  _ always _ be home. In one day, when she’s officially moved, this will still be home. In three years, in ten years, in fifty years, she will always consider this home. This is where she fell in love. This is where her home really is.

She runs back to Louis one more time, throwing herself at her. They hug one last time, kiss four more times, spend fifteen more seconds in each other’s arms.

“You’re my home,” Harry says. “Always. I’ll always come back to you, Lou. I’m so proud to be yours. I want you to come and see me as soon as we can. I want to show you off to everyone. We can do that can’t we?”

“Yes baby,” Louis assures her, squeezing tight one last time before letting go. Louis’ hand lingers on her arm as she points to where Anne and Des are waiting. She prompts Harry towards them. “Go on. Go and start the next chapter, Harry. I can’t wait to read it.”

  
  


_ “I won't be seeing you for a long while, I hope it's not as long as these country miles, I feel lost. I feel lost.” _

**Country Mile, Camera Obscura**

  
  



End file.
